Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It's never too late to be topless.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
