Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize