Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
COCAINE IS GR8
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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