i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
do herpes really smell.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
