Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
