Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
