I looked at my own cervix.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
