Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
