i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize