You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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