My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
