I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I need water and some morals
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
