I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
