I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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