I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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