thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
