woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
