why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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