i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Vodka?
Forever.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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