Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
