I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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