so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
