I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
