I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize