he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
