Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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