She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
