If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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