Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
