he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
