it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
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My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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