I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize