4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
