And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
