she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
