Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
