what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
