on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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