There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Enjoy the penises
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
