what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I party with great urgency now.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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