And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
