I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
