i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
