Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
