I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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