hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
