Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize