I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Vodka?
Forever.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
