You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
