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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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