dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
