He uses pillows to masturbate.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
you never un-have a 4some
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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