you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
