This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
