I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
