And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
