shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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