I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
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I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
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There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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