there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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