So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
